Leadership or Management. But why Conform/Follow?

There are a lot of people who think they are leaders, but manage to only patronize, or act contentiously in prevocative practices that is not effective at all. These people may live their entire life without truely knowing to what capability and dynamic he or she can lead. I have possibly the best examples (All of them took place on my boat). I was on a 13ft Boston Whaler (My Own boat). I was 15 and without telling anyone, took my best buddy a road map, and a spare tank of gas and travelled to manhattan, around the south shore of Long Island. I had lights, but no radio... life jackets, but not enough gas..at one point our engine was flooded in Hell's Gate, and we had one oar between the two of us, We waited a few moments and then the 50 HP 4 stroke started right back up again. The ride home used more energy due to travelling against the current, and we decided to pull over in Venice Canal to an abandoned marina. I got out of the boat, brought my spare tanks to a gas station down the road and we were set. We were home 8 hours after due because of that ride against the current, and the helicopters in the sky we jokingly questioned in our minds if they were looking for us. They were, (That's besides the point.) What that story was an example of me managing to the dynamic of how I've handled all my previous situations. My other situation is 7 years ago (I was 19) and it was after hurricane Isabelle. and the water looked so calm like glass in the bay. I got two buddies and we went on the boat, looking for some adventurous excitement. We filled the boat up and brought an inflatable tube and headed to the ocean. I drove my first friend for the best ride of his life, the second friend the best ride of his life. They were so happy and at the same time couldn't move their arms because they wanted to hold on so tight so the ride would never end. their faces were priceless and I querried if one of them would mind driving me for a ride. Needless to say one friend agreed, but before the ride even began the friend who was driving had me on the tube behind the boat but decided to reverse and turn , while doing this ate/ caught the rope up in the propeller. The boats in the ocean, the swells are picking up, and I'm trying to pull myself into the boat. I make (Covered in lacerations from the twisting and winding rope in fused in the oceans white cap current.) My friends and I try to untangle the rope. but within moments the boston whaler (The Unsinkable boat) fills up with water and capsizes. My 2 friends panick. One is sick, and well heaves.. and the other one was no better. I'm an experienced swimmer, I've even been in situations where I've been stranded from boats in the sea before, so It was my job to assert, organize, and compose ourselves for a combined effort to attain safety. So I swim underneath the upside down boat and retrieve life jackets for everyone. The shore is a few hundred yards away and i tell them to stick together, and we swim together back to shore. My poor friends were already so exhausted from the tubing rides, and I was feeling really deprived now; not only didn't I get a great tube, but now I was out of my boat. I already expressed to the friend what he had done wrong. We sat and waited for the boat to get taken to shore. When the boat comes up shore that friend goes to the boat and finds his wallet and is very happy. Me and my other friend are baffled. We know what the true ellements/valuables which were at stake. Our lives, and safety, not our identity safety. :-( The leadership undoubtedly was egalitarian, we didn't obstruct anyone elses effort to reach safety. There were vastly contrasting dynamics of leadership with how I was loss my boat, but safe. And my friend who was responsible for the incident and didn't even become, because he wasn't aware of common sense (Like more people than I care to admit). He knew we were in trouble though, and put pride/ego in the back of his mind, and it was more of an effortless task to swim that immense distance there after the boat was totalled. He lead his anatomy and physiolog all by hisself. I had nothing to do with that leadership part. The philosphy is to live and act with the best, or greatest of intentions. This commits you to being a sucesful manager and leader in this universe.